GFF News Update: Cineworld Closed - by Robert Duffin

The GFF team sadly announced today that due to technical problems, the Cineworld on Renfrew Street has been closed for the foreseeable future. All cancelled performances will be honoured or rescheduled and anyone with a ticket should take it to the Glasgow Film Theatre Box Office.

Early reports suggest that the characters from several of the films screening have in fact come to life, thanks to a malfunctioning print of U2 3D. Daniel Plainview is hording the entire snack based sustenance on the top floor in a move he has told the press is known as “DRAAAAINAGE.” Of course Bono is in the lobby singing a song about how terrible it all is, backed more suitably by Alvin and The Chipmunks. Meanwhile we hear that Anton Chigurh has gone in the huff, after Jean-Dominique Bauby consistently ignored his order to “call it.” We haven’t heard from Juno MaGuff, but we can safely bet she’s kicking about somewhere saying something that will be coming to a t-shirt near you very soon.

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS….

This is such unfortunate timing, and we hope things can be fixed quickly. Our Festival insider has told us there has been an electrical fault with their emergency lighting system, which is presumably a health and safety nightmare. How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Well hopefully they have enough and will be opening their doors very soon to commence with general business, and of course all the exciting GFF screenings yet to be seen.

Check these sources for the latest updates, or you can come back here, it’s nice here, tell your friends…http://www.glasgowfilmfestival.org.uk/